What the future may bring

If there's one thing I need to learn, one out of the many that i need to, it would be

Giving my best to someone without holding back thinking 'What if it won't work'

I'm actually pretty happy right now, I do not know what the future may bring. I could only *ehem* fantasize and dream :) But I do hope that it would be much better than today. Sometimes for me life is like playing jackpot, we put our self out there to bet on for a happy future. There would be times where we win a little, lose a little, lose a lot and then *ring a ding* we won the first prize.

But as far as my nearly three zero *ehem* years of experience, it's frightening actually. Cause I know for sure that there's those times where thing we never expect happen. And when it happen, it feels as if the whole world collapse under your feet. And you're left hanging on trying to stay afloat and breathing becomes so much harder and we start to think "Why?"

I'm very lucky that I am strong and that I'm blessed that I have my family and friends with me. Though they might not know what was happening to me. But knowing that they care if they know is more than enough for me. And it is so true that, when you give all your trouble to the Lord, when finally we stop trying to make things to work following our way and leave it to God hand, things start to change. And it really did for me. This year I learn a lot and got to know someone so precious to me now. And I pray to God that the future will be much better than now.

ps: Finally on my first vacation in this year out of Malaysia... Hope a) I won't get sick like usual b) everything will be ok, no unexpected thing coming up c) no fight, had a bad exp of fights (last prev time with someone else).

Everything passes by

Odoi dogo.. The turn of event is totally like something that would happen in a drama. Never have been so disappointed in my work before. :) Well past is past, and all I can do is too look forward. And right now the only thought that is hanging on my head is

Should I or should I not resign?

I'm really at the bottom of my career, I really want to throw up my hands and say sayonara to my life here in KL and move back to KK and find another job.

How I wish making decision is easy, that's the hardest part. Once the decision is made, the rest that follow is so bloody easy.

Though I'm going back to Malaysia tomorrow, I feel like a failure here. :) Well nothing much I can do except put everything in God hand and have faith in him that there are better things coming my way and these thing need to happen for his plan for me.

But still I feel so disappointed on myself that I have to remind myself that

Everything Passes By from PravsWorld

Everything in life is temporary.
Darkness of the night; or a bright day.
Even sunrise is temporary; so is sunset.

So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won’t last forever.
And if things are going bad, don’t worry.
Because it won’t last forever either.

Everything passes by.

Missing home....

I'm missing home so much. Missing to eat all those non-halal and halal food.. Missing to be able to go back every weekend to kampung.. Missing to go out and watch movies in the cinema.. Missing the HUGE shopping complexes.. Missing hearing the "lah", "bah", and etc etc.. Truthfully, no matter how much of a bloody asshole the Malaysian Gov is.. Or how bloody racist my country are becoming.. There is truly no place like home. I miss Malaysia so bloody much.. It's true, we never will realize the importance of something if we have not lost it. And thank goodness I will be back in less than a week, woohoooo going back to KL this Friday.. Whoppieeeee.....

Tired....

With all the idiotic situation that I'm facing right, it's no wonder I have been facing sleeping problem these pass few days. It would be so tiring trying to get a night rest, instead I woke up feeling more tired than the night before. Some says that, it's best to relax and not think of any "masalah" / problem that are plaguing us before sleeping as we tend to think about the problem even while sleeping and that is why sometimes we feel like we have not rested at all...

And that remind me of my dog, have to remind my mom to send it to the bloody vet again for it's monthly and costly check up just to make sure it has no health problem as last few mths it has been getting fever now and then... urghhh more money flying out of the pocket

Sometimes i wonder

Sometimes i hate being in a relationship. Especially the start of a relationship, even more if it's a long distance thingy. I have promise myself never to put in that situation again. But did I follow through the promise... Noooo, as stubborn as I am.. I'm in another LDR again. And I hate it, it's so much harder than being in the same place with your other half.

You have to take care of what you says and do, cause one wrong move and word.. There would hell to pay. Especially when calling is an expensive option and when both of us is two bloody stubborn mule.

And sometimes I wonder why the heck I go n get my self voluntarily get hurt by just being in a relationship.

Asshole and bullshit

I learn a very valuable lesson today.. Never to trust someone who is from HP company... Total asshole and if it's saving their ass, they are damn good. I have to say, I'm impress that they can backstab you and still act as if there's nothing going on in front of you. Asshole...

Well, truthfully because of the shit that has been going on throughout the project.. I have become the scapegoat. Yeah rite, I'm not the bloody project manager, I'm just the implementor.

As much as I want to complain, there's nothing I can gain by complaining but only pray to God that justice will be done. I do not wish fow bad thing to happen to the asshole, but I wish for the truth to come out and people who deserve it get their dues.

It's time like it reminded me how I hate politics, esp when the bad get worse everyone starting to point fingers. Ger, and i actually was thinking of giving my 24 hours of notice and just resign just like that. I am seriously thinking of that when I receive an email from Pravsworld.com

Prove Your Worth

There will be good days. And there will be bad days.
There will be times when - you want to turn around, pack it up, and call it quits.

Don’t give up at that time. Don’t Quit.
Its an opportunity to prove your worth.

I hope to God that I have the strength to hold on till the end.