Gonna stop blogging for an undefine period of time

Truth to be told, I've been typing and deleting for the past 30 minutes or so. But I wasn't able to write the thing that I wanted to write. :) I can't even feel anything right now, all I'm feeling is "numbness". I hate this feeling but at the same time I welcome it with open heart. Cause I know that I am finally be able to let go. Once the hurt is too much too bear, I would and can finally be able to move on. And that is me :) And I will start to open my heart and my mind to other possiblity as I've been closing it for far too long.

Tsk, now I just got to solve that one tiny eensy weensy thing that is not comfirmed but suspected. Once I can cleared that out, then everything will be ok. So as for my blog, I'm gonna put my blogging to rest for awhile. Cause I know that I will forever be hung up on talking about what I'm feeling and I will never let it go that way. Then when you see next post on this blog, you would know that I'm already ok and fine.

From Humbolt to tour guide to a song rambling

I watched a documentary about the the Humbolt squid invasion last night, it is kinda scary but I couldn't stop thinking whenever the squid is shown;

That is a huge squid, would it taste good, it must taste nice?

And I was imagining myself, the various way to cook the Humbolt squid, the bloody squid is humongous. Same as when I see any rabbit on sale, I would be thinking... That rabbit meat if we satay'ed it, it would taste heavenly... Wish I could get rabbit satay right now mmmmmmmm....

:) Well while watching the squid documentary, I fell asleep on the sofa and it was so uncomfortable. And today woke up feeling so tired instead and had to rush to meet friends from our neighbouring state. They came down to KK for some sightseeing are planning to go to Pasar Philipphine. So off I go to be their unofficial and failed tour guide.

And right now, I've just returned and currently donning on my eyes mask. Mwahahaha better to do your own facial rather than going to the saloon and my face end up being man-handled by them. Well I'm practically rambling over nothing at all. So i'll just end it with a song that is practically stuck in my mind... Geh, I'm so bored and I really want to go 'jalan-jalan' but it's so bloody hot today... and I can't bloody drive, if only I can I would have gone to the movies already, also all of my friends have their own planned. So I'm left on my own at home... Totally bored..

To end this rambling post, here's the bloody song that it's tune is stuck in my mind and I can't get it out of my head.



So let us sing 'Boom-de-ah-da'.... Here's athe full lyric from wiki

I have a wish that cannot be fulfiled

I have one wish that could never be fulfilled. Sometime I wish that I had a brother or sister that is near to my age, and I sometimes wish that I have an older brother or an older sister. Cause the responsibility is less than being the eldest.

It's hard to be the eldest, to whom to you show your "manja" side, well I had compensate to "bermanja" with my younger sister. And it annoyed her to the end :) and somehow I enjoyed tremendously annoying her.

Also trying to discuss my problem with them is too ackward with them, the closest to my age is 7 years apart. So how can I talked with him my problem, he would stare blankly at me if I tried to discuss any of my problem with him. If I had someone near to my age, at least I don't have to lower my topic of the day with them and they could at least know and be a little interested with what I'm talking about

Tsk... Mom why didn't you get pregnant the minute you finish your pantang with me :)

Balik Kampung! Again?

Ok, enough with the emo post, still feeling down under but what the heck I can decide to be unhappy or happy, so decide that I will be happy and just put all the worries in God hand. What will happen will happen, what won't will never happen. So I decided to take whatever chance that is dropped down in front of me and just go with the flow.

So let me do my complaining instead for today. Well I'm going back AGAIN to KK today, nothing to complain at that but I wish that it is be my dad that will be picking me up at the airport today. Unfortunately it's not him, instead my brother will be picking me up. Urrghhhhh, it's not that I don't like him picking me it's that I KNOW for sure that he will be picking me up LATE. Just like the last time, or last last time or last last last time. Got my gist, it's each and everytime when it's his turn to pick me up he will be totally late.

Like last three week ago, I flew using MAS and as the flight was on-time I call him and said "My flight is on-time, so I will arrive at KKIA exactly at 10.30 and I don't have any luggage, so be there at 10.30 sharp I don't want to wait at the airport a minute extra". And he said "Ok", cis what was I hoping. I arrive on the dot 10.30, and he was no where in sight. Called him, and guess what *annoyed* "I'm on the way, I'm on the way, nearby already, at the simpang"... Cis again, and he came like 30 minutes after that. Ya, which 'simpang' he's at I bloody don't know.

And this time, today if he is late AGAIN, I will certainly asked for a denda from him... Hmmmppp, or just to spite him I'll just take a cab home and let him wait there. How about that... Somemore today is Valentine day, and I could guess he would be "spending his time with his gf" and that's why he asked yesterday to re-comfirm what time I will be arriving. Cis, mentang-mentang the sister don't have a date, again cis *grin*...

Well ya, that's my ranting for today... Oh, one more thing to share about my shopping yeaterday. As one of my friend asked to buy Twiggies from here in KL, so I went to look at 7-Eleven. And I was totally shocked all 5 outlet doesn't have Twiggies. How could that be and I was like urrghh I'm tired of just walking from one outlet to another, and I found the bloody thing unexpected at Cold-Storage supermarket and totally clean out the Chocolate Twiggies from the rack. Sorry to the guy behind me who wanted to take the Chocolate Twiggies *evil grin* but I think that after nearly 3 hours searching for the bloody thing I at least deserve to take it ALL *evil laughter* mwahahahahahaha.

A wall in front of you

Imagine that there's a wall in front of you which is stopping you from getting to the other side where you wanted to go. Try as you might, you've climbed it but then took a wrong move you fell down again. You've tried it over and over and over again to climb the wall, to the point that your finger are bloodied, scratched and are hurting so badly. But you're still unable to get past the wall. Then somehow, there would that one rare time where the top of the wall is just a few inches from above you, and as you think that you're about to get past the wall but just somehow your feet slipped and you fell back to the ground again more hurt than before. And that's when you nearly lost hope and thought to yourself, what when wrong? Why? What sin have I done to deserve this, am I really the worst of the scum. Can't I be given a chance? Cause at the end of the day, I just want to be happy. I don't ask for more, as long as I'm with the people that I loved it's enough for me and yes I am surrounded by them but there's that one bloody wall that's been hindering me from getting to the other side. I hate this, I really do. It's enough already my heart and body can't handle it anymore. I'm tired to pretend anymore. Maybe I should just stay here cancel any plan to go back. It would be much better, that is the main reason I've been staying here for far too long. Cause I don't have the courage to go back home, I thought I would finally be ok but now I don't think I'm sure anymore. I've been hurting for far too long, it should be enough already.

Bloody hell, if I could get a bloody huge tukul I would smash the bloody wall already. Anyone can lent me the bloody tukul. Ya, I know a lame joke.

Well, I'll end this bloody post with this one song "keep you" by sugarland. Sometimes it's kinda amazing that I could find those one particular song that suit what I am feeling. And this song it echo what I wanted to shout out loud.

Valentine day rambling of mine

I'm back to my cheerful self, well that's me. All I need is a prayer and a good night sleep, and tomorrow when I wake everything is gonna be alright. Yesterday problem is in the past and cannot be change and tomorrow worry is not yet in our hand to be bothered with, even Jesus said that,

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

So I'm going to enjoy my day today. Might as well go watch movie after work :) and right now let just worry about my work that I need to finish and update into the client server by today. There you see, how can I afford to worry about yesterday and tomorrow when today worry is already too much, thing happens for a reason. That I know first hand... Well enough with this, let me continue to post something more cheerful.

Now this song by Dierks Bentley really does suit the mood for the coming Valentine day (V-day). Not that I celebrate V-day, but what the heck. It suit the mood as V-day is just a few days away.

Girl I've been waitin on this long hard day to get over
So i can rest my head right here on your shoulder
I just wanna lay here and feel you breathe
Listen to the rhythm of your heartbeat
And see where it leads...

We're wide awake but girl I wanna make you close your eyes

And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight

All I need is only you and me alone tonight

I wanna make you close your eyes...oh yeah...

This is an all time favourite song of mine, which I like to listen before I sleep at night. It kinda remind me of what I want from a man to feel about me, it feel really nice knowing that there is someone that feel that way towards us isn't it :) Won't deny it I'm a hopeless romantic, although I don't show it much.

I actually don't hate V-day just that I dislike how V-day has become so commercialized. With the ridiculous price of flowers and chocolates. And my number one pet peeves is why roses! That's one of most boring flower ever cause it seems as if that's the only flower with the meaning of 'love', there are tons more beautiful flower out there that have similar meaning.

Like my all time favourite, a bouquet of white Carnation and forget-me-not, totally and fantastically beautiful. Though where can I get forget-me-not flower easily here in Malaysia, heaven knows. And psst to the guys out there, thinking of getting her a bouquet of flower specially for her, then throw out any ideas of getting roses. Get her a bouquet of Red Tulips, it's much better and prettier and the meaning of giving red tulips is that you are declaring your love towards her and telling/asking her to trust you. Look the picture below, pretty isn't it. Now isn't this much more prettier than roses.

Remembering back, there was a few times someone did gave me flowers, one was an admirer, another was a bouquet I was given when I became my cousin bridesmaid and lastly and kinda tragic I was also given a bouquet during V-day by an engaged man who is not engaged to me *tsk, ptitiful isn't it, and no it's was not an affair*. But I never receive any by my prev ex's, I wonder why? The cause might be the complains I had on how commercialized V-day is :) But heck, which girl won't feel at least a small amount of giddiness and happiness when receiving flowers at any time at all, be it V-day or not. I for sure will feel happy, won't you?

Hurting myself over nothing at all

Tick tock.. tick tock... The clock is ticking... I'm tired of getting hurt and crying my eyes out... Simply with just simple words strung together as a sentence written by someone, the feeling that I thought I have locked deep inside and threw away the key and tried so hard to forget burst out uncontrollable. I wish it was meant for me, that I deluded myself for a minute that it does but I know deep inside that it wasn't. So I rein the feeling back inside cause I knew that it wasn't meant for me... Stupid me, just asking to get hurt over nothing at all. I'm really tired, isn't there someone out there that can reach out his hand out to me and pull me out of this hurt and say just 6 simple word "Everything is going to be alright". I know that I am strong and because of that for now, I will smile, I will laugh, I will joke, I will try to move on, I will try everything I can to be more happier with each passing day.

I want "Nobody" "Nobody" but you... Music video

A friend of mine posted a youtube music video on FB, and the song is bloody cute with it's catchy tune and I can't stop listening it now especially the chorus. Apparently there are 2 version of it, the official version by Wondergirl a kpop girl band and JeAnne Ehriel. Truthfully I prefer the one by JeAnne, and this was her own version of the korean original song of "Nobody" which was claimed by JYP Entertainment. Personally I like original korean version more, but it's a shame that I can't bloody understand a word except the english part.

JeAnne version


 Original version by Wondergirl (korean)

Be warned, Although I love the intro of the music video, it's a very long intro almost 2 minute.



ps: No offense to korean but have you guys ever notice that, korean speak as if they are spitting at the end of the conversation. But that's what make it korean isn't it.

pss: :) I love it when the client site that I visit is so nearby to shopping complexes, like the one that I visited it's just beside Pavilion KL... So what else, I took the chance to do some window shopping and ended buying a dress and a singlet during lunch.. And it's a steal, discount on top of discount imagine it's already discounted then for the second pair you bought it would 50% off so the total is like less than RM30 :) I would miss this kind of shopping the most when I go back to KK for good...

Joke of the day from your's truly

Joke of the day from yours truly. My ex-colleague came to the office to just drop by and say hi as he was nearby my office. So we talked and talked and talked. Bear in mind his name is Th*man, so as he was leaving he said his bye's and CNY wishes, and I replied back to him.

Ya, you too T*ck G*uan. Have a nice holiday and happy CNY

I confused him with another ex-colleague and I did not even realize that I was wrong and I had to be corrected by my other colleague which just met him today. I bloody embarrass myself.... Right now I just want to crawl into a hole and hide myself. Note to myself 'try to remember your colleague name and face'

And I really do hope that Th*man didn't took offense. Geh!

Droollll, me love his voice....

I just plain love his voice, if there is a "Sexiest voice of a man" award, I would certainly vote for him. :) Imagining myself talking and listening to his voice, pure bliss. Heh, see how easy it is to satisfy me Mwahahaha, ok let me stop it at that before I make you guys puke. BUT his voice is sexy, been listening to this song of "why don't we just dance" by Josh Turner over and over again.

Just a little bitty living room ain't gonna look like much.
But when the lights go down and we move the couch,
It's gonna be more than enough
For my two left feet
And our two hearts beatin'
Nobody's gonna see us go crazy.
So baby, why don't we just dance

Cute song, been hummimg it all day long and the song gain extra point as the combination of Josh Turner voice and face and blue eyes is just yummylicious.

How I enjoyed myself at home :)

For the last three week or so, I've been flying back every weekend to and fro KL and KK. Just came back yesterday morning from KK and I'll be flying back to KK again this coming sunday. And truthfully I really hate taking the plane, it totally drain and tire me out. But at least next week I'll be spending a whole week relaxing again :)

So what did I do recently at kampung while on holiday, chronologically arranged:

1) Attend Man and Adelle wedding reception at dewan tun fuad...

2) Went to check out some bridal shop *ehem* :) not for me obviously, for my cousin upcoming reception that I might help to arrange :) . My poor mom became the model for the pic to be sent to my cousin. She would totally kill me if she knew I posted this pic.

3) Went to dinner ordering crabs and then "jalan-jalan cuci mata" at KDCA and play BINGO with only 2 of the girls that is available that nite...

4) Got a biting monster from Claire

5) Went to Gaya st with the parent, where my mom tricked my dad to go using my name saying "C Bibi mau pi Gaya st." (Bibi want's to go to Gaya st). Was pleasantly surprised, that although time gone by and many things have changed, it's kinda nice to know that there are thing's that never change. The caprila ice cream van is still there at the very same spot, since the first time I saw it 6 years ago, heck it might be there even longer than that.

6) Reminiscing my childhood eating "mi-hoon goreng" the old fashioned way.

7) Attend Judith and Jerome wedding reception also at Tun Fuad hall.

8) Had a small reunion with friends I haven't met for so long and only talked on facebook. :) I'm not in the pic if you wanted to know how I look.

So that's 70% of what I did when I went back home... I know I'm just enjoying myself and wasting my time with my friends and etc :) Well I can't do that if I'm dead, we don't know when we will leave this world so I guess I just decided to waste my time and etc to live to the fullest and enjoy every second of it.

ps: I know the pic is so crappy, low quality pic taken using my hp. Malas ba mau angkat tu DSLR jalan2..

When it decide to crash it just need to happen at the best time

I'm so frustrated with this one issue that I'm still trying to solve from last friday. The same issue that nearly made me missed my flight on friday. The same issue that stop me from finishing my work. The same issue that cause me to be so unprepare for tomorrow user training that I'm suppose to be conducting.

The bloody laptop just had to choose last friday to crash. And I'm still trying to repair the bloody OS as I don't want to "re-install the OS that need to re-format the harddrive that will unfortunately delete all my precious data". I know, just bloody transfer the data from the harddrive to another backup and just bloody do the reinstallation. The total size of the important data is around 150gb, and I don't have that much of a backup space. So yeah, really nice...... So now i'm stubbornly want to repair this bloody thing through the window recovery bullshit. And I'm so tired... Really, really tired.

Me and the dog with 2 faces

I brought back a biting monster from my friend. He look so "kuai-kuai"/obedient at first that it seem as if some alien has replaced it overnite. I just left him for a few days as I went back to KL on monday and when I came back again on friday I was shocked on how much he was has changed. He was biting everthing and everyone. Well except for my dad, all animals know and understand that to be able to stay in this house they know who is the real BOSS.

A puppy should be adorable, and yes he is adorable when he is sleepy or full from eating as he is so "manja". But when he is at his best, my feet, hand and even my hair become it's most loved thing to bite.

And now, he is attacking the poor stack of newspaper which I hope falls on him so I can jeer him mwahahahaha... Ok I love animals but at the same time I love to bully them. Like just now, I was so fed up with the biting I scooped him up and put him in the glass cabinet and he was trapped in it. Ahhh, how peaceful was it for a minute, then he started to whine and I took pity on him. And now he is whining again cause the stack of newspaper really did fall on top of him. So gotta go and save him AGAIN.

ps: I love to put him on table and see him squirm cause he is so bloody clumsy to jump down properly :) cat and dog are really the total opposite. Where cat is so bloody arrogant, they want you then they don't want you. But dog is really "Pick me!" "Play with me!" "Don't look at other, only at me!"

Bad dream to wake up to

What's the worst ever dream that I hated to dream of? Well to dream of a "ghost"... Yup, yup irritatingly ridiculous but I woke up feeling so bloody scared. It's a simple dream but a very vivid one. In the dream, me and some people (which i don't remember who) went for holiday in some village and coincidently someone in the village pass away. We rented a house but the bathroom was in a separate building, so we went there to take a bath. And there I saw the "dead" man (and how I know that's the dead man I do not know, it's a bloody dream), watching us bathing (a pervert ghost perhaps). And I remember that in the dream I was so freaked out and so bloody scared. Then the next thing I remember is that we were going back to the rented house and the bloody dream ended.

And I bloody woke up feeling so scared that I was unable to get back to sleep again and turned on the lights.. Hait, hait I know I'm a scaredy cat. Well I haven't encounter any "ghostly" thingy thing for quite sometimes already, and I'm bloody grateful for that. The last was at my last house I rented where my bloody room door kept on being unlocked and opened by "I do not bloody know who, but it kinda pisses me off" especially as there a two lock and one of lock can only be open/close from inside the room. It might be me if I'm the type to sleep walk which I think is bloody imposible, cause I would know by now if I sleep walk.

So yeah here I am blogging cause I can't go back to sleep.... So before I end this post, sharing with ya'all quote of the day

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning. -- Lao Tzu

Sometimes we kept on pushing and pushing and trying and trying to the point that we become so unhappy, when all we need to do is do the thing we need to do, and just let it be. Then we move on and do other thing and again let it be. What will be will happen, what will never be will never happen. So why bloody worry, ;) easy for me to say but once you stop trying so bloody hard, it just become so much easier and I become much more happier... Believe in the age old wisdom from thousand of years ago...

Should or should I not

I need to make a decision, was thinking of leaving my life here in KL and just take a chance to go back to KK even without getting a job first in KK. But it's really scary, making that kind of a change, 180' degree change of my life, leaving my job with a good salary, leaving my comfort zone. To face a very uncertain future, not knowing what to expect.. And obviously it also means that I have to change my lifestyle, you know, the stuff I'm used to use, the place I'm used to go normally and also leaving my friends there in KL.

Been thinking of that one particular problem that never seem like it would end any soon now, as promise stays as words and 'Me' had to suffer trying to scrimp a ringgit here and there just to get by day to day. I guess I might just better packed my bag and head back home. It is the "I bloody don't care" person that is talking right now, the 'Me' saying "so what if my work is not done", the 'Me' that just bloody want to clean my hand over the shit that 'Me' is facing right now. Either if the shit is b'cos of work or even b'cos of some personal thing, I just want to wash my hand over the matter and forget about it.

Geh! Heck I don't even mind being a vegetable sellar at the Tamu or even "potong gatah" (cis, I can hear someone laughing out loud saying karul, potong gatah!). As long as I'm around with the people that cares about me, it doesn't matter. I'm done with being unhappy, I hate it. I totally loathe it. So now the question is, do I have the courage to take the chance to just drop everything I have right now and just go back to KK. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let's see, let's see... Let me just ask "him" above first and ask fr some sign on what to do first...

LDR - Run away very far if you ever encounter it..

So what actually is LDR? It's a short term for Long distance relationship... If ever you encounter it, I really have to advise you guys to RUN very fast. Stop from even thinking about it. Don't even think of the possiblity. Cause it's hard, it's really hard, it's not impossible but it's really HARD and sometimes it's not worth it at all.

There are those out there that argue and says, "well my LDR is doing great". Yes, and I really congratulate and respect you for that. But for those that haven't started or are trying to start a LDR, my 2-cent IF you are a person that need attention, DON'T ever try to go for a LDR. You would definitely suffer.

I like to think that I do know what I'm saying as I went through 4 LDR. And I'm through with LDR. I don't ever want to be in a LDR. Being so far from each other, you just get use of NOT being together.

You know the saying "absence make the heart grow fonder", that is bullshit in a sense. A short term absense is OK like a few days or 1 month maximum, but imagine in a year you are only able to meet like less than 20 days.

The phone gonna be your ever close companion. The telephone bill gonna be a headache especially if you fighting every once in week (not me) or even the kind of person that need to talk every nite before sleeping (now that's me).It's gonna hurt when you see couples around you holding hand and talking and just plain being together around you. Wishing that you could just pick up the phone to say let's meet up tonight. Not being able to be able to see the person whenver you want is hell.

Yes, that is what I deal being in a LDR. Cause at the end of the day I just get used to being alone, that when we meet up again it feel a bit ackward. One part I hate the most about LDR is missing someone so much. I really loathe that feeling, especially when we are going to be apart. It actually hurt so much that I had to learn not to miss someone so much, learnt to make the heart go distance so that I won't be feeling so hurt. But that in place eventually make the feeling I have for the person disappear a bit as well.

And LDR really does need a tremendous huge amount of TRUST and TRUST and TRUST. :) trust me I know. One major lesson I learnt from my own experience,is that if you really care for the other person then whenever you are doing or about to do something. Stop yourself, pause for awhile and ask the question "will this hurt him/her?", if it won't then please do continue but if it does then you might have to re-think whether you still want to continue to do it or not.

I really do wash my hand on LDR and I will never again put myself in that position ever again. Cause I don't have any problem in trusting someone it's just that I can't trust myself being so far away.

Dratted comment

There's one thing I hate with myself, that I tried so bloody hard to change. Cause I hate it whenever I acted that way, and it always make me feel so down, so bloody feeling so *ewwww* that I can't even describe it properly.

I hate to feel that I owe someone an explanation, I hate it that I need to explain to others for my action, to justify what I did, it's like I have to give excuses to each and everything that I do. It's like I need to satisfy all people.

For example, just yesterday I receive such a retarded comment regarding my blog. If you guys notice, since I changed my blog layout the "Next Blog" button is missing. Well not intentionally but because I was so malas to change and modified the template code. There I just had to go and explain why... And this person said i'm a *tut* for hiding the "Next Blog". Is there any "rules" to how should my blog look like. If you don't like it then close it, don't ever open this blog again. No one forced you to open it... Cheh! This is why I hate those "holier than thou" kind of people. For them, others are always wrong if they do not follow your way of thinking.. Jeez... And I hated it how I can let these kind of people affect me so much. That I nearly went and search a new blog template...

Jeez, bloody tarnation... Geh! But one thing that people close to me know one thing about me is that sometimes I'm pretty stubborn, whether I'm right or I'm wrong.. Sometimes there are times if that I will stick to a particular thing even if it kill me. So I'm bloody gonna keep this template that is without any "Next Button".

ps: I wanted to keep that dratted comment but I don't feel comfortable with it, I even replied back but at the end of the day it was the best decision ever. I deleted it mwahahahaha

Pretty amazing story about a small and big monk

Wanted to share this one story which for me is kind of amazing.

The Pretty Lady

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet... The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

Moral of the story

This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.

Isn't it really true, many of us have this kind of attitude and are among the people that is so unhappy. I also realize that I do sometimes act that way, hard or unable to let go of the hurt, the irritation and etc and it's a bloody hateful feeling. It's really a 'ewwwww' feeling isn't it, thank goodness I realize and acknowledge that I do act like that and I'm trying my hardest to steer myself from becoming like the small monk in the story.