A different kind of feeling going back to KL

Yup, it's kind of hard to smile and feel and doing the same thing that I had been doing like any normal day. Losing someone that I really loved really hurts, even now staying strong and not cry is a huge feat for me. I wanted him to be able to see me marry and at least hold his great-grandson. His spirit is strong but his body are already at his limit that's what the other are saying. Still can't accept it...