There are times...

There are times when you can still bear everything no matter how painful it is and still believe in that one person, there are times where you lost your patience but you still want to believe in that one person, and there are that ONE time where it just hurt so much that you just want to run away from everything that hurt and hope that tomorrow it will hurt a bit lesser than the previous day.

Tired complaints to food

Tired, I'm so tired, I'm bloody tired and I'm tired of feeling so tired everyday. I am not feeling tired of doing work or of not having enough sleep just that I'm whenever I wake up I just feel tired. Now that is quite worrying as bad news always start that way.. How many times have I heard friends saying "I'm feeling tired everyday, even if I have enough sleep" and the next week they were diagnose with some medical problem. Like my ex-colleague, who kept on complaining that she feels so tired day in and day out. And then I got the news that she has breast cancer.

I'm worried, so keeping that into mind.. I just have to remind myself to go for a full medical checkup once I'm back to Malaysia, we never know so it's best to check it out.

Now I'm craving for "Daging masak Hitam" or the translation, "black beef cook" which is sounds deceptively unappetizing but on contrary, so OOOOMMMP no other word can describe it better than that. Anyone can send it to Pakistan?

Me back again.....

Hoho... It's been ages since my last post. Well, blame it on my own laziness and *ehem* work. And yes, i'm still here in Pakistan. But in less than 2 more week, *imitating arnold schwarzenegger in terminator* I'll be back to Malaysia for good. Back to the familiar surrounding, the familiar foods, the friends that I have not seen and to my family.

And am I excited to go back. Obviously, yes.... Although a part of me is being torn apart cause I am really enjoying my stay here. Pakistan has become a second home to me. Nevermind the problem that is currently Pakistan is facing, but I really enjoy a lot for the 7 months i've been staying here. I've met lot of good friends, some may even be my friends for life.

And I did one thing that I never ever though I would do, ya especially that. I've totally did one thing that I have never done in my entire life, one thing that started from a can of beer not that I'm proud of it but *slap face* at least now I know what I really wanted from my life. Well, let us just leave it at that.

So now counting the days, I hope that I can spend my last minutes enjoying my time here by doing everything I want. So that I won't regret later on of not doing the things that I wanted to.

BUT before doing, *slap face* there's still work to do for the project closure.... Myaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........

What's going on with our country.. Haiya..

Through all these, Dr Zambry was sworn in as the 11th Mentri Besar of Perak. He took his oath of office before the sultan and later sped off to his constituency where a celebration awaited him.

Mwahahah... That is what I call is pathetic. A person who became a mentri besar but is not liked by the people.... So after the swearing in he ran away to his "celebration" save house at his constituency. Well, why I'm not shocked at the bloody "shameful" thing that happen to our country recently... That's why now I'm really worried if the najib can be a good leader to our country when all he is showing is untrustworthy leader.. He is not showing that he is going to govern the country with people welfare in mind but rather by ganging up with those that can help him get more $$$$ and power...

Haiya, now i'm worried about Malaysia future...

A ruin and totally pissed off mood: You just had to do it

I'm not a person that easily get mad. It takes a lot and something to trigger it for me to get really pissed off with someone. Like just now, I'm hungry, I'm tired, my bloody PMS is getting to me, and now a person just had to really pissed me off. If you have something to discuss then say it. And if I asked how long would it take for you to come back to the office, it doesn't mean that I'm counting the time you will be in, I want to call the bloody driver so that I have no need to wait for another half an hour after the discussion for the driver to come.

Pish and posh... I'm not in a good mood today, but I have been able to control it all day long but someone just had to ruin it and make me feel so mad that I want to shout and kick someone. Been so long since someone made me feel so damn mad like this....

Busy from the past, present and till future

Was busy, is currently busy and will be busy for the next 2 or 3 months... Someone help me! *tired smile* Really need some loving here LOL.... Well, found some good old song sang by Bonnie Raitt, I can't make you love me... Sure to bring tears to people out there...



Lyric
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize,don't patronize me

Chorus:
cause I cant make you love me if you don't
You cant make your heart feel something it wont
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and Ill feel the power
But you wont, no you wont
cause I cant make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I wont see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and Ill do whats right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

Chorus:
cause I cant make you love me if you don't
You cant make your heart feel something it wont
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
cause I cant make you love me, if you don't

Feeling like a dried tomato....

I am currently feeling so drained out these past few days since coming back from Malaysia. Maybe the bad eating habit, no exercise lifestyle, problems that's been left unsolved, battling with some personal issue and the stress of works are finally catching up to me.

At this moment, I'm very near to banging my head at the wall beside me. As if that would help, but it's a very tempting thing to do... What I wanted to do right now is to just sleep the whole day without anyone, any call, any emails, and any people bothering me.

But what to do, I could never be able to do that here. That is the one thing that I hated staying in a hotel, you could never get the privacy you needed and wanted.

Really need a break from everything, peoples, sounds and etc etc... So who's up for a vacation in Bali? Mwahahahaha

Point to ponder

Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Btw, to all of those that will be celebrating Chinese New Year... Have a marvelous and merrier Chinese New Year... Gong Xi Fa Cai....

What can you pack inta a camera box

Hooray, I'm back from Pakistan from last saturday, well I was only able to get online today... So here i'm back to blogging... So where am I now of course at.....



Cheap what, I'm obviously homeless each time I go back to Malaysia. I've stop renting, well cause I obviously don't want to pay RM400 a month for letting the "org bunian" to stay in the room as I'm gonna be at Pakistan until April. Might as well be homeless, stay at the hotel and claim it as the company expenses each time I come back to Malaysia *evil grin*.. Genius isn't it? Mwahahaha...

So what did I wanted so badly to write that, as sleepy as I am... I drag myself to blog about it... Well how many thing's you can pack into a camera box...

Hehe... Well the answers:

1) A pair of jean
2) A box of underwear
3) A digital camera
4) A medium size t-shirt
5) A mini-skirt
6) And a XL size of an adult long sleeve shirt for my dad

*LOL* I myself are very shock that I'm capable of packing the six thing in the small box... Well that's it for tonight... Gotta go rest now, my feet hurts like h*ll. I was walking and shopping like a mad woman yesterday and also today. Shopping like there is no tomorrow, going from one shopping mall to another. I was only so glad to be able to shop at a proper shopping mall... No offense to Islamabad people but you guys seriously need to built a proper shopping mall there...

A sudden weird yearning...........

There comes a time in a person life, where suddenly you wake up in the morning feeling terribly lonely. And you began to realize that you're not getting younger, and nearly all your friends is married, gotten kids, already engage or even planning to get engaged. Also you begin to feel left out, and start thinking "Why"... But my "Why" is not the "Why I'm not also taking the steps", but "Why the heck I'm feeling like this". I'm perfectly happy living the life I'm living right now, enjoying life, experiencing the thing I've never ever would think I would feel, doing the thing that I would never have thought of doing, even going to the places I never thought I would set my foot at. And now, I've got tons of plan I wanted to do within this 3 years, before I touch the three-o milestone in my life.

But why now, is it my basic instinct? I woke up feeling like I wanted to have a baby... Ya, I know sounds "weird", it's not that I wanted to get a man and get married... It's like I want a baby only and not another extra "big baby" to take care of... Mwahahahahaha... My mom would kill me saying this but, if it was possible to have a baby without a man I would gladly do that...